As Chris Doc Browns postedOpen letter to Marty McFlyI was inspired, no, determined to share with you my nerds 7 Things That Have Always Annoyed Me About One of Our Favorite Movies of All Time. However, on closer inspectionback to the future… I found just over 7, so enjoy the following…
7 (sort of) things I've always wondered: Back to the Future
1:I won't even ask the obvious question of what a 17-year-old is doing on a school day at 8am at the 70-year-old scientist's house, no, that would be too easy. The first question is and should be: what kind of experiment is Doc running to see if his clocks are exactly 25 minutes behind? None if you ask me. I think he was just trying to mess with Marty. I mean great, all your clocks are slow. Has your entire garage/apartment/lab traveled 25 minutes into the future? Or did he carefully place each watch individually on the Delorean? no, I'm not going to tell you what you did, you took all the clocks in your garage/apartment/lab and went back 25 minutes. like a queue. They always knew this would mean 4 consecutive delays for Marty. Is not true!? By the way, what happens after 4 consecutive delays?
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Why does the original George McFly have enough shit to dye his hair? However, the new and improved George lets his gray hair slip like an old fart. Maybe it's an exposed confidence that comes with beating up the attempted rapist of his wife. But I chalk it up to sheer laziness.
2:Marty agrees to meet his friend Doc in the Twin Pines Mall parking lot at 1:30 am. Now a question I've been asking myself for 24 years needs an answer. How does Doc get in touch with the Libyans? The 1985 equivalent of Craigslist aka the Sunday Classifieds in the Hill Valley Gazette? “The Libyan terrorist sect is looking for a scientist with a background in physics and a love of laughter to build us a great nuclear device. You put the intelligence, we put the plutonium and we laugh; ) No Fat: Answers without photos will be removed.” I invite you all to post your own versions in the comments section. Flip it if you want. Wide-eyed scientists searching for plutonium...
3:Well, I buy Emmit L Brown as a scientist with a wonderful imagination and a deep understanding of general science and time theory required to create time travel in his garage/apartment/lab. This brings us to the explanation of the time vehicle and to what dates one could travel if they wanted to. Doc claims that November 5, 1955 is a red date in Science, then pauses and laughingly remembers falling out of the bath and finding the flux capacitor... It seems he knew exactly what was going on. Good acting "Oh my gosh, now I remember how awesome I am, how I invented time travel and everything." Cock.
Jump to Doc Lies Dead: Thanks again, terrorists. Martin is running. In the only available vehicle (which happens to be a time-traveling DeLorean), as you can see in the provided screenshot, Marty doesn't try to avoid crashing into the photo processing booth, traveling at 87mph past the body without the doc life Fortunately for him, he goes back in time fast enough to become a harmless, if terrifying, old scarecrow. Have a nice trip back in "accidental" time, Marty.
4: In 1955, Marty begins a series of events that will change his family forever. November 5, 1955 is not only the day Doc had a vision of the flux capacitor, but also the day George and Loraine met and fell in love. However, with Marty in 1955, he attempts to save his father from being hit by his grandfather's car, only to end up under it himself. Something to wonder: Mr. Baines says, "Another one of those damn kids jumped in front of my car." Does that mean the boys were always in the tree looking at Leah Thompson? (A plausible theory, she was extremely hot in the '80s and she was known to take her top off. See: 'All the Right Moves' '83) Or was Mr. Baines a closeted alcoholic who used to run over to teenagers? I think the latter is more likely.
5:Biff simply tells George to go away so he can rape his future wife... Yes, he RAPES people. Last time I checked, rape was one of those "terrible" crimes. You know how we put people in jail for a long time. Well, I'm not a science guy, but in the future I'm not going to let the guy who tried to rape my wife stick around and turn my BMW, let alone my kids, into a super cute 4x4. The rapist spends as much time as possible AWAY from my wife and 3 children.
6:In a flashback to 1985, Marty wakes up on what appears to be a normal Saturday morning to find that everything has changed. Marty asks, "What are you wearing, Dave?" and Dave says, "It's a suit, Marty, I always wear a suit to the office." Really Dave? Well, it's Saturday. Nobody goes to the office on Saturdays. Where are you going again, Dave? And why did you look at your brother like you're better than him just because he went back to sleep? Who are you really? You still live at home and share a car with your parents.
7:Apparently, Biff is no longer the middle manager demanding that George McFly write "reports" only to have Biff rewrite them. I mean, do you realize what would happen to Biff if he wrote a report in George's handwriting? Me too. Well, apparently the $300 damage to his car caused by Marty's trip to 1955 and the subsequent skateboard chase through Hill Valley Square made him so angry and upset that he started his own car cleaning company to deal with it and stop it. . In this new year of 1985, Biff has spent the last 30 years passing the savings on to you! Who cares if he's already tried to rape someone? Apparently not George, thanks to the second coat of wax on his '84 BMW 535i.
-Yes, it is scientific, but I still maintain that there is no way to connect a 1985 video camera to a 1955 television.
- Who pulls out the jukebox when Biff walks in, only to put it back in when Marty booked it with Lou? Isn't this the best time to run outside and watch some shit? don't stay inside and read the rest of "Mr. Sandman."
-Marty now has to stay with his mother to save his future just before Biff returns to the story to rape Lorraine. I think $300 in damage to your car means rape time.
"Biff's friends don't want to mess with pot addicts, and frankly, neither do I."
-If I'm Doc Brown, I don't risk Marty going back to the future in '84 (I refer to '82 as Robpointsout in the comments closed DeLorean in '83). The DeLorean's cable hits a metal bar just as lightning strikes. I'm making a very, very long cable. Side note, I was bored so I timed it, the Delorean takes 45.3 seconds to hit 61mph.
- Going back to 1985, Marty has to travel about 200 feet from 88 to 0 on slippery roads... the town square... .
I would also like to see the 2 mental breakdowns off camera that George McFly suffered in 1966 and 1977 respectively when the planet Vulcano appearedday in the starsand Darth Vader appeared on the screenstar Wars. Wouldn't you be confused after Darth Vader descended from the planet Vulcan and said that he would melt George's brain if he didn't invite Lorraine to the enchanted dance under the sea? If I were George, I'd sue Gene Rodenberry and George Lucas's pants.
Images: Universal